From Addiction to Mission: How God Transformed My Wounds into a Calling to Heal Others

In my previous article, I shared how God transformed my grief and fear into a calling to establish the Soul, Mind, and Body Retreat—a sanctuary where twelve women can find rest, healing, and a profound encounter with Christ.

 

Today, I delve deeper into the personal miracle that liberated me from the chains I had borne since my teenage years.

 

Early Struggles with Addiction

 

My battle began in high school, where I started smoking marijuana daily.

 

Despite ascending the corporate ladder as an executive, I concealed this addiction, presenting a polished exterior while grappling with internal bondage.

 

Alcohol became another crutch, a means to numb pain and stress.

 

Occasionally, I would abstain during Lent, convincing myself of control, yet I never truly relinquished these habits.

 

Grace Through Reconciliation and Consecration

 

In 2013, after twenty-six years away from the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I returned to Confession, experiencing an immense weight lifted as I received absolution.

 

That same year, I consecrated myself to Jesus through Mary.

 

On the final day of my consecration, as I prayed, Mary led me to Jesus, who removed my desire to smoke marijuana.

 

It was as if the chain had been severed cleanly.

 

I walked in that freedom for a decade, profoundly grateful for this grace.

 

A Relapse and Renewed Struggle

 

However, about a year before my husband's passing, he suggested purchasing marijuana, legal in our state.

 

Believing I was strong enough to resist, I agreed.

 

Slowly, I slipped back into the habit, accompanied by the shame of failure.

 

After my husband's death, grief consumed me.

 

On Christmas Day, my father passed away, and just thirty-three days later—at the same age Jesus gave His life—my beloved husband followed.

 

Crushed by sorrow, I turned to prayer, clinging to Our Lady of Sorrows.

 

A Divine Intervention

 

During Lent in 2024, which began on Valentine's Day, I planned to abstain from drinking and smoking, but only when others were present.

 

On the first Sunday of Lent, during prayer, an extraordinary event occurred.

 

My body began to shake, heat surged through me in waves.

 

I knew God was at work, though I couldn't explain it.

 

When the experience subsided, I knew instantly that something had changed.

 

God had healed me from both alcohol and marijuana addiction.

 

The desire was gone completely.

 

From that day forward, I never picked them up again.

 

Embracing the Mission

 

I believe my father and husband interceded for me in heaven, urging Our Lady to obtain this miracle.

 

How could I open a retreat house for healing while still bound by addictions?

 

God's timing was perfect, cutting off the chains as He prepared me for this new mission.

 

Initially, I hesitated to share this fully, embarrassed by my relapse.

 

But God does not heal us to hide His glory.

 

During prayer, I heard the Lord ask, "Are you not going to glorify Me?"

 

Convicted, I recorded a video confession, admitting my relapse and God's mercy in setting me free.

 

Sharing this testimony was humbling but liberating.

 

What I had hidden in darkness, God brought into the light, where shame lost its power.

 

Why I Share This

 

I share this personal journey because I know I am not alone.

 

Many turn to the world's false comforts when pain feels unbearable.

 

But numbing never heals; it only deepens the emptiness.

 

Only Christ heals and frees us from the chains we've carried for years.

 

When He does, it's always for a greater purpose.

 

From Healing to Healing Others

 

This is why the Soul, Mind, and Body Retreat is so close to my heart.

 

It's not just another event; it's a private, intimate retreat for twelve women at a time.

 

In that small, sacred setting, each woman can be seen, known, and given the space to lay down her burdens before the Lord.

 

I know firsthand that healing begins when we stop hiding, bring our wounds into the light, and let God do the work we cannot do on our own.

 

That's what He did for me, and that's what He longs to do for others.

 

Looking back, I see how God was preparing me all along.

 

What once was my greatest shame has become my greatest testimony of His mercy.

 

He healed me, not just for my sake, but so I could help lead others into His healing.

 

Jesus has healed me.

 

He longs to heal you, too.